


Best Friend

by SolarArmageddon



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga), Death Note: Another Note
Genre: Abandonment, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Anxiety, Autistic Near | Nate River, Best Friends, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Child Abandonment, Child Abuse, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dead L (Death Note), Depression, Eating Disorders, Eventual Relationships, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gay Male Character, Gay Mello | Mihael Keehl, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Light Angst, M/M, Matt | Mail Jeevas Has No Idea What Self-Care Is, Matt | Mail Jeevas has ADHD, Mello | Mihael Keehl is Soft, Nicknames, Night Terrors, Oral Fixation, Orphanage, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pansexual Character, Pansexual Matt | Mail Jeevas, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Platonic Romance, Requited Love, Russian Mafia, Russian Mello | Mihael Keehl, Scars, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Serial Killers, Sexual Abuse, Smoking, Trans Character, Trans Matt | Mail Jeevas, Trans Near | Nate River, Wammy House, but thats how i was thinking about it while writing so, do with that info what u will, like...reincarnation or smth where they keep finding each other and refalling in love, mafia, soulmates but this isnt a soulmate au, thats not actually in this fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2020-10-19 08:21:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20654105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolarArmageddon/pseuds/SolarArmageddon
Summary: Matt falls in love with his best friend and...it kind of sucks.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i literally started writing this in 2017 then got bored of it and just came back to it on like,, tuesday of last week and wrote 6 more chapters for it by hand??? yes im on crack but im THRIVING

Mail Jeevas and Mihael Keehl's worlds tangled together all at once on a slow, rainy, spring morning.

On that morning, Matt had simply been wandering the halls before breakfast with one of his only friends, B, when they almost walked right past the entrance to the orphanage. They would have too, had they not noticed another boy they had never seen before, shivering slightly as one of his hands held tightly onto Watari's much larger one, the man tugging him in the direction of Roger's office. He was a rather small boy, his thin frame only looking thinner what with his clothes sticking to his skin like glue and his blonde hair slicked down by the rain.

It wasn't an odd sight to see, but something about it made the redhead's chest tighten, hands clenching around his sweater sleeves. Though he had never met the boy, everything about him felt so familiar. Their eyes had locked briefly before the blonde had fully entered the office, puffy, lost looking blue orbs meeting confused green ones for only a second.

"He has the same death date above his head as you do, Mail." B muttered, thumb prodding at the corner of his lip lightly, but never entering his mouth, "Looks like you two will be getting close. That...or it's just a coincidence. That rarely happens, though. Especially not in a place like Wammy's."

Matt had learned long ago not to question most of the things that the elder said, especially not when it came to those death dates, but he couldn't help but want to this time. He felt like he needed to.

"What do you mean by that? Why do you think our death dates have any correlation?" He finally asked after a minute of silence, spinning on his heel to face the boy.

"I mean the last time I saw two people with the same death date around here, they committed dual suicide. They had realized being considered a genius in a place like this means basically nothing. I doubt that'll be how you both go, but who knows?" B snickered behind his hand, shrugging at the same time before he turned his back to the younger.

"Now, we should actually get ready for breakfast. We've wandered around enough for today anyways and you've probably got a lot on your mind now, huh?" Matt nodded at the older boy, shrugging back though B couldn't actually see him.

"I guess... See you at breakfast."

* * *

B was right in one aspect: they _would_ be getting closer. Though, neither really had a choice in the matter. Matt's last roommate was nearing the age of 16 and as soon as 12 A.M. hit on his birthday, he was knocking on Roger's door, wondering when he could leave. The two had never been close (probably because Matt was nearly six years younger than him at the time), but he had heard him complain about their home countless times before, leaving him unsurprised when he came back from classes later that day to half an empty room.

Because Matt's last roommate had left, his room had an open bed. An open bed could only be open for so long in a place like Wammy’s.

In comes the new kid.

Apparently his name was Mello- well, his _ alias _ was Mello. He spoke little English, only short sentences and curses. Instead, he spoke in Russian, trying to convey his points with angry hand gestures. When he made no progress, he gave up on communication and unpacked what little he had.

Matt tried to help however he could for the next few months as the other settled in, their miscommunications slowly turning into more coherent conversations as both of the boys tried to pick up each other's native languages. Mello expressed once how he appreciated not being the only one putting effort into their communication and Matt had never been more driven to learn a language than in that moment.

B often teased Matt about his newly found friendship, nudging A to try and get him to join in. The other always just smiled weakly and shook his head at his boyfriend. A had always been easier on Matt and he often found himself being thankful for that fact. He wasn't sure if he could deal with two B's.

Over these few months the boys did become closer, but nothing huge happened until ranking time came up.

By now, Mello had understood _ most _ of the things that happened in Wammy’s, but when Matt attempted to bring up rankings the other looked just as lost as he did the first time the redhead had seen him.

"The fuck are rankings? That's a thing here?" Mello asked, slamming his fist against the cafeteria table. Matt had gotten quite used to the elder's short temper, though it had been a shocking contrast to what Matt assumed the boy would be like when he first saw him.

"Of course it's a thing here. This is an orphanage made to make successors for _ L_, you have to do that somehow. Having everyone know you're the smartest is good motivation for most, but it's also nice knowing that you could be the next L." Matt said, shrugging as he moved around the cereal in his bowl absentmindedly.

"...That does actually make sense, I guess. What are you ranked then?" Mello asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows, eyes shining in curiosity. Matt rolled his eyes at the other, though he had a small smile on his lips.

"Uh, third I think? Last time I checked at least. I don't care about that shit though. I don't want to be L,"

At that Mello's eyes widened dramatically, both his hands slamming down on the table causing some of the milk from Matt's cereal to spill over and onto his sleeve. Sighing, Matt reached for some napkins as he half listened to Mello scream in confusion about him not wanting to be L.

"-How can you even be third if you don't want to be L at all?" Mello screeched, his hair falling over his face as he slammed his hands against the table for the third time that morning. B groaned, picking up his tray before waving at the redhead and muttering something about not wanting to listen to _ blondey _ yell any longer.

"The tests are _ easy _ for me, I don't even need to try... and it's not like I can just _ not _ do it. So, I do the bare minimum, then leave." Shrugging once again, Matt stood with all his things in hand, smiling down at the shorter boy. He was still standing with his palms pressed against the table, glaring at his roommate.

"Anyways, that ranking test is like...next week? So if you're going to shoot for number one, you might want to study a bit."

* * *

When the testing was all over, most of the orphanage was on edge, waiting for the results. Despite how uncomfortable it can be for some, the rankings are posted on a bulletin board outside of Roger's office within a day or two of the test.

That left most people to overthink all of their answers, get anxious and not leave their rooms for days because they were studying. Matt had always found that weird, considering they hadn't even _ seen _ the scores yet, but that was just typical Wammy's life. His old roommate wasn't one of those people either, so he never had to deal with it. And he sure as hell wouldn't be bothered with it now when he had never been before, _especially_ not when it came to his own scores.

Then again, he had never been roommates with _ Mello_.

It really was just Matt’s luck that the blonde happened to be one of those kids. As soon as he finished the test, he was anxious, overthinking all his answers for hours, trying to remember if he had actually done the problems right. To top it all off, he would then force Matt to help him study because _ "well you are number three and we're best friends now, the least you could do is help me out!" _

By the time the actual results were posted, Mello had probably studied more than what was actually on the test and Matt was fucking _ exhausted_.

That didn’t stop Mello from pulling him out of bed, throwing his DS onto the floor in the process and dragging him all the way to Roger’s office by his wrist. Though he had wanted to protest, he knew it would be futile. Mello never fucking listened and he didn’t expect that to change—not after the amount of studying he had been forced to do.

There was already a crowd around the list when they got there, but Mello didn’t waste a second, pushing kids out of the way with his free hand. He probably didn’t notice, but he had linked hands with Matt while doing so, tugging him further into the crowd.

“Sorry, sorry- Mello!” Matt growled, tugging his hand to try and get his attention. Though some people had already read their ranks, they stayed for some _fucking_ reason, making the space louder and more crowded.

"Fuck- Mels!" Matt shouted, squeezing the blonde's hand as hard as he could. This seemed to get his attention as he whipped his head around immediately, looking mildly concerned. He squeezed the redhead's hand back, stilling in the crowd around them.

Fuck, this is just _another_ reason why he never checked the ranks. Stupid fucking crowds, stupid _fucking_ anxiety—

"Matt!" Mello yelled, grabbing the younger boy's other hand. He squeezed both of them tightly before rubbing his thumbs over the boy's knuckles. Some of the crowd had started to disperse, but he could still feel himself shaking, breathing ragged.

"Shit, c'mon." Mello said, barely loud enough for either of them to hear. He started to back them out of the crowd carefully, shoving people away from his roommate until they were back against the wall opposite the chaos.

It was still too loud, but he could feel his breathing get better as he focused instead on the cold wall, the feeling of Mello's hair brushing his neck as he rested his head on his shoulder, whispering _something—_he wasn't sure what—rather than the group of people that had been pushing around him seconds ago.

By the time there was only a few lingering bodies around, Matt had calmed down just enough to feel like a total jackass.

Squeezing Mello's hands once again, he cringed at how sweaty they had become, but ignored it, "I'm sorry Mels-"

"Don't fucking apologize, okay? Just...in the future, tell me if you can't do something or if you start feeling like that again. _Please_." Mello muttered, nuzzling against the boy's neck.

"I know I can be an ass sometimes but...we're friends._ Best friends._ And I give a shit about you and your feelings." He continued, letting go of the boy's hands to push himself away so their eyes could meet.

Matt nodded slowly, "Okay...Okay," He said, barely above a whisper, smiling down at his shoes, "How about we go check those rankings now, huh?"

Mello beamed, grabbing the redhead's hands once more, "Hell yeah!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: this chapter talks about A's suicide and what comes after that.
> 
> also there's some russian in this, i used a translator i found, idk how accurate it is but i dont speak russian or know anyone who does so sorry ig?? heres translations tho:  
солнышко - sunshine  
Звездочка - little star
> 
> sorrry this is kinda short idk i have a lot of chapters already written but theyre short so im not sure if im gonna do short chapters or if im gonna smush some of them together, we'll see tho

Mello had ranked third, pushing Matt out of the spot he had held for nearly four years. Wammy's tested every 3 months.

He wasn't upset—couldn't be, with how happy Mello looked, jumping up and down, hugging him tightly. If anything, he was _proud_.

A bit surprised at first, sure, but _so proud_.

And Mello was proud of his placement, too.

As soon as he was done strangling Matt half to death, he had run off to tell A and B. The two didn't bother checking the ranks—they never needed to. They knew where they stood in Wammy's all too well.

For months after the first test, Mello would joke with A and B about how him and Matt would be forcing them down the ranks soon enough. Matt wasn't sure _how_ exactly he planned on doing that, but he never questioned Mello. He knew better. If Mello wanted something, he would get it.

Six months later, A killed himself. B left Wammy's the night of without a word.

Matt spent a week cooped up in their room, not sleeping, only eating after Mello spent hours coaxing him into it and not making any sounds unless it was past midnight and he was crying.

Mello had never hated being number one before—never hated _winning_. Not until that day.

* * *

When Matt turned 13, he let Mello know the day before.

Though he didn't care for birthdays—had never really celebrated them before Wammy's, before Beyond Birthday had said _happy birthday, red_ to him without even knowing his name (well, he did, but only because he had those_ damn eyes_)—he thought he should let Mello know.

Because they were friends. _Best friends_.

And that's what _best friends_ do.

It was another rainy day, as most important day's seemed to be for them. Mello had made him a cupcake, though Matt wasn't sure how he convinced the kitchen ladies to let him do that.

It was a nice gesture. A simple vanilla cupcake with blue icing and a single candle. And, despite the fact that Matt wasn't a big fan of cupcakes (or sweets in general), he could never turn down a birthday surprise—not one from Mello, at least. So when the boy had handed it to him wordlessly, smiling lightly as he kissed the top of Matt's head, the younger had decided he would eat it, no matter how long it took.

"Thanks Mels," Matt said, watching him dig around his drawer before pulling out a lighter.

_Huh._

"Of course, Matt. You _are_ my baby after all," He responded, lighting the candle.

Matt didn't quite remember when that started. The pet names, Mello calling him _baby_ and _солнышко—_it was all new and yet...Matt had never felt more comfortable in the development of their friendship.

Mello tried not to use the same name too often and he was sure to throw in a new Russian one every once in awhile just to see how long took Matt to figure it out. Sometimes he recognized the words immediately, but other times it took him a couple of days to get it. His Russian was rusty to say the least and Mello rarely spoke it now that he had learned English. They also never went over pet names when Matt was learning, so some of them just made no sense until Mello explained them.

Regardless, it was _sweet_. It was _comfortable_. And it was very _them_.

"So, what do you wanna do today, Звездочка?"

_Little star._

He remembered Mello calling him that for the first time. He had just had a nightmare and Mello offered to sleep with him. It wasn't the first time and it surely wouldn't be the last.

When he had accepted, inching back just enough for the smaller boy to crawl into bed with him and wrap him up in his arms, Mello had squeezed him tightly and whispered, _"Now go to bed, Звездочка."_

Matt didn't question it until the next morning. Mello had simply shrugged and said, "Little star."

Matt liked being called Mello's _Звездочка_ the best.

"I don't want to do anything but..." Matt trailed off, taking his first bite into the cupcake. He didn't remember blowing out the candle or pulling it out, but he could see where it had landed on the floor and it certainly wasn't still on fire.

_Thank god._

"But...?" Mello prompted, sitting on his own bed and crossing his legs under him as he waited.

"You know how we aren't supposed to tell others our birthdays, but I still told you mine?" Matt asked tentatively, licking some of the frosting off his fingers.

Mello nodded, brow cocked, "yeah?"

"Well...I wanted to tell you my name. Like, my _real_ name. And I know you told me your birthday because I told you mine, but this is different so you don't-"

"Mihael Keehl." Mello cut him off, smiling down at the floor as he did so.

"Huh?"

"My god for number two you sure are dumb sometimes..." Mello snickered, leaning back on both hands, "My name is _Mihael Keehl._ Yours?" He smirked, watching in amusement as Matt's eyes went wide as he choked on the bit of cupcake he had been chewing.

"Fuck, fuck, okay!" Matt finally coughed out, swallowing the rest of the bite before laughing nervously, "It's Mail. Mail Jeevas." He said, shoving a bit more of the treat into his mouth. He could feel himself getting nauseous as he ate, the frosting sticking to his teeth in an all too familiar way, but that was nothing new to him. All he had to do was smile through it, if not for his sake then for Mello's.

So smile he did, overbite on full display for the Russian in front of him.

And the Russian smiled right back, his perfect teeth filling Matt with a much better familiar feeling, one that made his stomach flip in a less troubling way.

"Well alright, _Mail_..." Mello started, his tone teasing, "What do you _really_ wanna do for the rest of your birthday?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just an fyi the timeline for this fic is VERY fucky bc i suck at having shit make sense lol pls dont call me out on it  
but! that aside!! hey sorry i dipped for a hot min, ive had these chapters drafted for a bit but i havent bothered typing them out for whatever reason? but heres a new one now! its short but ill try posting the next couple soon after so hopefully yall dont mind  
also, just a heads up, im gonna go back and edit the first two chapters just a little bit so i can sneak in some unimportant foreshadowing (?) details or whatever ig, they arent really that important i just realized i had some plans for this fic in the future that i hadnt really even hinted at in the earlier chapters which seems like it would be weird for a reader bc the shit would just suddenly Be There later on lmao  
moving on! yall can hit me up on twt now if u wanna @ bakubitchn to talk, ask questions about this fic, etc. but if not thats cool :) just hope u like this chapter lol, enjoy
> 
> translations for mello's lil russain word(s):  
мёд - honey
> 
> and a small trigger warning! theres mentions of alcoholism, csa, suicide, abandonment, abuse, eating disorders and scars in this chapter!! theres literally no details to these things (like when i say mentioned i mean they are brought up once by name and then not expanded on at all (but they will be in later chapters)) but i know some people can be triggered by just the mention of one of these things so i thought id put this here just in case! if u are triggered by these things, skip the paragraph that is started with "the list went as follows"! stay safe lovelies <333

When the Kira case had first started, Mello and Matt had briefly discussed the topic before dropping it all together.

That's just how they were.

They didn't talk about a lot of things, even going so far as to tape a list of the most important topics to avoid on Mello's desk, hoping it would help them avoid touchy subjects or any possible triggers in the future. Truth be told, they didn't refer to it much what with Mello having memorized the whole thing and Matt rarely starting important discussions. They still kept it taped there regardless.

The list went as follows: alcohol/alcoholism, CSA, B's disappearance, A's suicide, abandonment, abuse, scars, the rankings, night terrors, eating disorders, L or any of his cases, and of course, _Near_.

The last one had been slapped on there by Mello one morning after a rather loud argument he had with the other boy, though Matt couldn't quite remember what it had been about. They still talked about Near, but there was a difference between him just coming up in conversation and them discussing Mello's issues with Near, which they now only did when things got really out of hand. That was the case with most of their list though. They would generally avoid the topic, but if an issue came up regarding it they would approach the subject with care and take their time talking things out _alone,_ at night, when they knew nobody would be bothering them. The system worked rather well, if they did say so themselves.

That's why it came as quite the surprise to Mello when Matt brought up BB over breakfast, where anyone could hear them and start asking questions. If there were to be one thing the kids at Wammy's were known for, it would be _eavesdropping._ Call it instinct, call it training, call it whatever the fuck you want—all of them were eavesdroppers and once they heard something intriguing, they wouldn't drop it 'til they got answers.

"Did he ever tell you about the dates?" Matt questioned, barely above a whisper. Mello didn't need to ask who he was talking about to know. The look on his face was telling enough. Well, _that_ and...

"Yeah, he mentioned them once or twice," squinting his eyes at the other, Mello reached across the table and picked up his chocolate milk, opening it quickly, "why?"

Taking a swig of it, Mello grimaced, shaking his head "That shits expired."

Matt rolled his eyes, ignoring the blonde's comment, "did he ever tell you about _our_ dates?"

Cocking a brow, Mello pointed at the boy's tray—or, more specifically, his cinnabun, "you gonna finish that?"

"I'm not fucking joking, _Mihael._" Matt hissed, pushing his tray to the side. The blonde's eyes widened at the other boy's rare show of aggression, face burning.

"Okay, Okay, I'm sorry Мёд." Mello said, reaching across the table for the redhead's hand and lacing their fingers together. Matt nodded in acceptance, squeezing the boy's fingers in return.

"Our dates..." Matt paused, turning his head away from Mello for a second as he bit into his bottom lip lightly, "Our death dates are the same. He told me when we first saw you."

The older boy nodded slowly, a contemplative look passing over his face before he just..._shrugged._

Pulling his hand back, Matt scowled at the other, "did you just shrug at me? You _did_ hear what I just said, right?"

Mello nodded, shrugging again, "I mean...I'm not really surprised. Just confused as to why you're telling me this _now."_

Matt let his scowl drop at that, his mouth forming a small _'O'_ as he shrugged back, taking a second to think, "I don't know...because we're friends? Best friends?"

_Because I love you, _he didn't dare say. No matter how much he _wanted_ to, he _couldn't._ Not yet.

But that answer seemed good enough to Mello anyways, the boy just smiling lightly and nodding, a small _best friends_ slipping from his lips like it was nothing at all.

And it truly must've been nothing if Mello found it so easy to leave him not a month later, without so much as a warning.


End file.
